hen a mother is depressed, her children suffer too and more deeply than previously thought. It’s key to recognize the symptoms and take steps to find a solution. Meet moms who spoke up, sought help, and overcame a condition that stood between their family and happiness. When Trina Mallett’s third child, Hailee, was born, nothing went the way Mallett had planned. Unlike her older siblings, Hailee had colic, so for the first 12 weeks she cried nonstop from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Nothing would soothe her, including being fed. In fact, nursing was a disaster. “She just wouldn’t latch on properly or take a bottle, so I could never leave her with anyone,” recalls Mallett, a stay-at-home mom in Idaho Falls, Idaho. Very soon, Mallett grew as weepy as her baby. Life became a total daze — she couldn’t sleep, eat, or focus on anything. Her husband tried to be supportive, but he traveled frequently for work and didn’t fully understand how bad things had become. Mallett struggled in silence, thinking she was just going through a hard time. Then, after about a year, the panic attacks started. Every morning she’d wake at 5 a.m. and promptly throw up, and she grew so paralyzed with fear that she couldn’t even go to the grocery store without another adult. One day her two older children, then 3 and 11, asked to go to the playground, and Mallett realized that a minor outing like this had become insurmountable. “I had to tell them we couldn’t go because Mommy wasn’t feeling well,” Mallett recalls. “I felt like such a failure. Why couldn’t I handle this?” Hailee was almost 3 years old when Mallett finally sought help, at her mother’s urging. She described her problems to her ob-gyn, who immediately suspected she was depressed. “I thought, ‘What do I have to be depressed about?’ I’d always been a happy person,” Mallett recalls. “I had no idea that my problem could be an actual illness until my doctor explained it to me.” Like many depressed moms, Mallett thought that if she could just soldier on, she’d overcome her troubles on her own. This isn’t surprising to Diana Lynn Barnes, Psy.D., a psychotherapist and founder of The Center for Postpartum Health, in Los Angeles, who herself was hospitalized for postpartum depression (PPD) after the birth of her second child. Our society portrays motherhood as a time of ultimate fulfillment, which promotes unrealistic expectations in the minds of new moms, she explains. “As a result, women go for long periods of time without treatment because they feel unbearable guilt.
They also worry that they’ll be considered weak,” says Dr. Barnes. In fact, half of Americans who suffer from clinical depression don’t receive any treatment, according to a survey by researchers at UCLA and at Wayne State University, in Detroit. But going without help only makes things worse. “Unrecognized and untreated depression among parents is a potent risk factor for children,” says William R. Beardslee, M.D., chairman emeritus of the department of psychiatry at Children’s Hospital Boston and author of When a Parent Is Depressed. To begin with, depression interferes with a mother’s ability to properly bond with her children. Studies from the National Institute of Mental Health now show that infants of depressed moms get less interaction, fuss and cry more often, and show higher levels of physiological stress than do babies of mothers who don’t have the condition. Some studies even hint at a connection between a mom’s depression and a child’s physical health. Recent research from Johns Hopkins Children’s Center found that children with asthma whose mothers showed signs of depression experienced more frequent asthma symptoms. “Fortunately,” says Dr. Beardslee, “many treatments for depression have been proven to work.” (By Ruth Davis Konigsberg)
How can a mother’s depression affect her children’s childhood and adulthood?
It can really affect not only her children, but her husband, family members and also herself. Children learn from their parents, so any bad habits a depressed person has such as sitting around the house doing nothing, seeing no one, drinking or doing other drugs to deaden the pain is computed by the children. Because one is depressed doesn’t mean that person doesn’t know what is going on. They are simply so down that they are like a runaway locomotive that can’t stop. Not until they receive professional help and get medication along with that help can they function normally. Firstly, the depressed person needs to realize that there are stats of 75% of depressed people roaming the U.S./Canada (since 9/11 in the U.S. these stats increased by a high margin) and that most people in their lifetime will have one or more bouts of depression (mild or serious) where they will need medication to get them on their feet and counseling.
That stats on that alone are rising dramatically because of the times we live in. Teenagers to college students have a high rate of depression from peer pressure, studying too hard and perhaps holding down a job or two to pay their way through college, but, many thank heavens are seeing out advise from their doctors and taking medications (be it conventional medicine or homeopathic medicine) and professional help. There is help out there! Cognitive Therapy is a wonderful tool and helps people deal with the stress’ of life. I have been depressed in the past, took the meds for short-term and saw a psychologist along with Cognitive Therapy and Tai Chi (Mind, body and soul) not to mention I am a Christian with a deep faith). Of course I still get depressed off and on like most people, but when it doesn’t last more than two weeks it’s normal depression. There are many reasons why people can get depressed:
DEPRESSION IN YOUTH can be caused by a lack of confidence, not fitting in with the crowd they would like to be with and thus a feeling of rejection. These are years when the hormones in the body are going all over the place. Depression in youth can be caused from trauma such as parents divorcing, poor grades, drugs (including alcohol) or other traumas in their lives such as date-rape, car accident, beatings, being bullied, etc.
DEPRESSION IN MOTHERS: PostPartum Blues depression wasn’t recognized by doctors until the last 5 years (at least in Canada.) The thought was that “the mother would get over it!” She was left to deal with it herself and it was a terrifying experience for many. The mother had feelings of not being able to cope with her child(ren) because she could hardly hang on herself. Well, it’s real! The doctors have recognized it and it can happen with a first, second or third birth. A mother may have two great births and no postpartum blues, but after the third child is born she may experience this. These mothers are treated like anyone else with depression and there is a very high success rate. The hormones will settle down. Husbands/boyfriends and family in general play a big part in helping the mother to cope and to give her a break from the stress’ of raising the baby.
ADULT DEPRESSION: Each unpleasant thing that can happen to a person in life be it losing a good job, being fired from a job, a divorce, a death of a mate or child or a loved one can trigger depression in some people.
DEPRESSION FROM TRAUMA: If a person of any age is in a car accident or any bad accident to a trauma to the body such as rape, being severely beaten up or even see their home lost in a flood or fire can experience depression. Bodily injuries such as spinal cord injuries, etc., or any disease can throw an otherwise mentally healthy individual into depression.
DEPRESSION IN THE ELDERLY: A high rate of 89% affects the elderly. If they have many illeness’ to cope with while growing old and they realize they are getting older and there is no place to go but closer to death this can certainly thrust them into a deep depression. Dementia, Alzheimer’s and many other illness’ can cause depression. While some elderly have no problems with settling into a nursing home others pine for their mate or families and fall into a “death wish” depression. Depression can be genetic (so check the family back-ground) or it is a malfunction of the 2 brain chemistries in the brain. I have seen a scan of a malfunctioning brain and it’s amazing. A healthy brain has these two chemicals encapsulate the brain, while the brain that is not functioning correctly only has parts of the brain that have these 2 chemicals. It can be from birth and thus genetic. Head trauma can also cause this. AM I CRAZY AND WILL I BE LOCKED AWAY? Absolutely not! If you know there is something wrong and feel sad all the time, just can’t get out of bed and have no energy and don’t want to see friends or family or go to work then you are more than likely depressed. Instead of worrying, be honest with yourself (I was) and see your doctor. Your doctor will lead you in all the right directions and, if you follow what your doctor and specialist says you will get over this. YOU WILL NOT GO CRAZY!
There isn’t the stigmatism to depression as there once was. I am not in the least embarrassed about my depression and talk openly about it if a person asks me and by doing so I have helped some recognize their depression where they didn’t feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about getting help from professionals or discussing it with certain family members they felt comfortable talking too. Many people I know that have been depressed and including myself go through the process of getting better and feel much stronger. People with depression are usually intelligent, artistic in nature, can be perfectionists, and are kind to a fault. That’s where the professionals come in to teach people with depression to “speak up and learn to say no if you don’t want to do something without feeling guilty.” Depressed people come from all cultures and all walks of life (rich, famous or poor.) At one time it was a myth that only poor people who had to struggle were depressed, but that myth has been broken and, in fact, the poor have been found to be resilient and strong. If you look at Black Americans and what they have had to go through for over 400 years that is strength! I often wonder how they did it. I know. It was faith in God. No matter what happened to them they still had that faith and they fought for everything they knew was right. Why? That will always remain a mystery. Is it because certain cultures go through so many traumas it tends to bounce off or is it faith.
I feel Westernized countries have too much out there to choose from and there are the “fat cats” and people that struggle to maintain a way of life all their lives. Westerners have become soft and selfish, but there are still many that are of good pioneer stock. It doesn’t really matter how one gets depressed, but it is important that a person with depression knows they are not going to die or they aren’t crazy and they are going to make it. I am walking proof of that. My depression hit me in 1973 because my father had a severe stroke and it crushed me more than I knew. I worked hard, just got married, raced up to help my mom look after my father, then came home to my new husband and do work around our apartment and started all over the next day. I simply burned myself out. So what! I knew it, I had to do it, but by being on medications to mask the depression it gave me a chance to learn from the professionals and others who had suffered from depression what tools I could use so I would never fall into that trap again. I learned that it’s OK to feel sad or to say “no” without feeling guilty. So far, so good! So please, if you or anyone else you know is depressed get help. It’s there so use it. Life really is a great gift and a depressed person can enjoy life again whether they believe it or not at the time of their depression.
Treating Depressed Moms Helps Kids’ Depression
Study Shows Treatment of Mothers Is Linked to Improvement in Kids’ Depression Symptoms. Children who live with depressed moms are at high risk for depression, but successful treatment of the mother greatly improves the prospects for her child, a study shows. The study followed 80 depressed mothers and their children over time. It showed that depression symptoms, behavioral problems, and other signs of distress among children tended to correspond with the mothers’ response to treatment. The women and children were participants in a large trial conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) designed to assess the impact of trying different treatment approaches when initial treatments fail. “Treatment of depression is trial and error, but many patients give up very early and decide they can’t be helped,” Columbia University professor of epidemiology and psychiatry Myrna M. Weissman, PhD, tells WebMD. “This study showed that improvement is possible even after several unsuccessful tries, and that successful treatment of the parent has a long-lasting impact on the child.” The study did not included fathers, but Weissman says the findings can probably be extrapolated to depressed dads. (By Salynn Boyles )
How to Stop Stay at Home Mom Depression
Do you have stay at home mom depression? If you are feeling overwhelmed at the thought of waking up each day , and you have stopped enjoying your children, you have stay at home mom depression. At one time or another every stay at home mom has their days where they wonder how they will survive;know that you are not alone! Its crucial to recognize when you are a depressed mom , so you can do something about it now! Don’t spend another day feeling this way. Follow these 5 steps to becoming a healthier and happier mother .
1 – Assess your situation. Be honest with yourself on how depressed you really are. If you are having unhealthy thoughts of ending it all, or wanting to run away from life, stop reading this guide and find help.Tell someone close to you how you are feeling, and they will get the help you need. If you are feeling down and upset, read on.
2 – Take control of your life . Write down all the things that are making you unhappy . What is pulling you down? Think about it and put it on paper. After you have your thoughts written out , start thinking of ways to turn each thought around.Make a plan to improve each situation.
3 – Find your support group – Stay at home moms need support. Find your spot where you can talk to friends, if its online or tea time at your house,schedule these mommy breaks in. Without having a good support system, you will be an easy target for stay at home mom depression.
4 – Take time for you – Even if you take just one hour a day , or once a week where you go out by yourself . Don’t neglect this. You need time away from it all ,to recharge and relax .
5 – Lastly, spend happy times with your kids. Sometimes mom’s get so busy with taking care of the kids, household, and wrapped up with all the things life throws at you, you forget to have fun with your kids! Take one on one time , doing something special, with the focus being just having fun.
Depression Treatment
When you’re depressed, it can feel like you’ll never get out from under its shadow. But take heart. Even the most severe depression is treatable. With the right help and support, you can and will feel better. There are many effective ways to deal with depression, including exercise, talk therapy, medication, natural supplements, and lifestyle choices. Learning about the treatment options will help you decide what measures are most likely to work best for your particular situation and needs. There are no quick fixes or instant cures, but if you’re willing to work on yourself and stick with treatment, you’ll find yourself out from under depression’s shadow sooner than you think. Just as no two people are affected the exact same way by depression, there is no “one size fits all” treatment that cures depression. What works for one person might not work for another. The best way to treat depression is to become as informed as possible about the treatment options, and then tailor them to meet your needs. Learn as much as you can about your depression. It’s important to determine whether your depression symptoms are due to an underlying medical condition. If so, that condition will need to be treated first. The severity of your depression is also a factor. The more severe the depression, the more intensive the treatment you’re likely to need. It takes time to find the right treatment. It might take some trial and error to find the treatment and supports that works best for you. For example, it might take a few tries to find a therapist that you click with if you decide to pursue therapy. Or you may try an antidepressant, only to find that you don’t need it if you take a daily half hour walk. Be open to change and a little experimentation. Don’t rely on medications alone. Although medication can relieve the symptoms of depression, studies show that other treatments, including exercise and therapy, can be just as effective or even more so. What’s more, they don’t come with unwanted side effects. If you do decide to try medication, remember that medication works best when you pursue therapy as well. Get social support. The more you cultivate your social connections, the more protected you are from depression. If you are feeling stuck, don’t hesitate to talk to trusted family members or friends. Asking for help is not a weakness but a sign of strength. Treatment takes time and commitment. All of these depression treatments take time, and sometimes it might feel overwhelming or frustratingly slow. That is normal. Recovery has its ups and downs. Lifestyle changes are simple but powerful tools in treating depression. Sometimes they might be all you need. Even if you need other treatment, lifestyle changes go a long way towards helping lift depression. And they can help keep depression at bay once you are feeling better.
Lifestyle changes that can treat depression
Exercise: Regular exercise is a powerful depression fighter. Not only does it boost serotonin, endorphins, and other feel-good brain chemicals, it triggers the growth of new brain cells and connections, just like antidepressants do. Best of all, you don’t have to train for a marathon in order to reap the benefits. Even a half-hour daily walk can make a big difference. For maximum results, aim for 30 to 60 minutes of activity on most days.
Nutrition:Eating well is important for both your physical and mental health. Eating small, well-balanced meals throughout the day will help you keep your energy up and minimize mood swings. While you may be drawn to sugary foods for the quick boost they provide, complex carbohydrates are a better choice. They’ll get you going without the all-too-soon sugar crash.
Sleep:Sleep has a strong effect on mood. When you don’t get enough sleep, your depression symptoms will be worse. Sleep deprivation exacerbates irritability, moodiness, sadness, and fatigue. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep each night. Very few people do well on less than 7 hours a night. Aim for somewhere between 7 to 9 hours each night.
Social Support: Strong social networks reduce isolation, a key risk factor for depression. Keep in regular contact with friends and family, or consider joining a class or group. Volunteering is a wonderful way to get social support and help others while also helping yourself.
Stress Reduction: Make changes in your life to help manage and reduce stress. Too much stress exacerbates depression and puts you at risk for future depression.
If you suspect that you may be depressed, and lifestyle changes haven’t worked, make an appointment to see your primary care doctor for a thorough checkup. If your depression is the result of medical causes, therapy and antidepressants will do little to help. The depression won’t lift until the underlying health problem is identified and treated. Your doctor will check for medical conditions that mimic depression, and also make sure you are not taking medications that can cause depression as a side effect. Many medical conditions and medications can cause symptoms of depression, including sadness, fatigue, and the loss of pleasure. Hypothyroidism, or low thyroid, is a particularly common mood buster, especially in women. The more medications you are taking, the more the risk for drug interactions. This is especially important to consider in older adults, who often take many different medications every day. If there is no underlying medical cause for your symptoms of depression, then finding a mental health specialist is the next best step for treatment. Although there are many types of mental health professionals, one of the most important things to consider when choosing a therapist is your connection with this person. The right therapist will be a caring and supportive partner in your depression treatment and recovery. There are many ways to find a therapist. Word of mouth is one of the best ways to find a good therapist. Your friends and family may have some ideas. Your primary care doctor may be able to provide an initial referral. National mental health organizations can also help with referral lists of licensed credentialed providers.
If cost is an issue, check out local senior centers, religious organizations, and community mental health clinics. Such places often offer therapy on a sliding scale for payment. How do I know which therapist is best? Don’t be surprised if it takes a few tries to find the right therapist. You want someone that you feel you can trust and that you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts. A good therapist will not pressure you into treatment, and encourages questions about his or her qualifications and patient-therapist compatibility. Make sure that your therapist is licensed and credentialed. Talk therapy is an extremely effective treatment for depression. Therapy gives you tools to treat depression from a variety of angles. What you learn in therapy gives you skills and insight to help prevent depression from coming back. There are many types of therapy available. Three of the more common methods used in depression include cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, and psychodynamic therapy. Often, a blended approach is used. Some types of therapy teach you practical techniques on how to reframe negative thinking and employ behavioral skills in combating depression. Therapy can also help you work through the root of your depression, helping you understand why you feel a certain way, what your triggers are for depression, and what you can do to stay healthy. One of the hallmarks of depression is feeling overwhelmed and having trouble focusing. Therapy helps you step back and see what might be contributing to your depression and how you can make changes. Here are some of the “big picture” themes that therapy can help with:
Relationships: Understanding the patterns of your relationships, building better relationships and improving current relationships will help reduce isolation and build social support, important in preventing depression.
Setting healthy boundaries: If you are stressed and overwhelmed, and feel like you just can’t say no, you are more at risk for depression. Setting healthy boundaries in relationships and at work can help relieve stress, and therapy can help you identify and validate what boundaries are right for you.
Handling life’s problems: Talking with a trusted therapist can provide good feedback on more positive ways to handle life’s challenges and problems. Individual or group therapy for depression treatment? When you hear the word “therapy” you might automatically think of one-on-one sessions with a therapist. However, group therapy can be very useful in depression treatment as well. What are the benefits of each? Both group and individual therapy sessions usually last about an hour. In individual therapy, you are building a strong relationship with one person, and may feel more comfortable sharing some sensitive information with one person than with a group. You also get individualized attention.
Don’t rule out group therapy, however. Listening to peers going through the same struggles can be tremendously validating and help build self-esteem. Often group members are at different points in their depression, so you might get tips from both someone in the trenches and someone who has worked through a challenging problem. You also can get inspiration and ideas from hearing from others, and are of course increasing your social activities and network. When the going gets tough in therapy… Like house remodeling, taking apart things that haven’t worked well in one’s life often makes them seem worse before they get better. When therapy seems difficult or painful, don’t give up. If you discuss your feelings and reactions honestly with your therapist, it will help you move forward rather than retreat back to your old, less effective ways. However, if the connection with your therapist consistently starts to feel forced or uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to explore other options for therapy as well. A strong trusting relationship is the foundation of good therapy.
Medication treatment for depression
Depression medication may be the most advertised treatment for depression, but that doesn’t mean it is the most effective. Depression is not just about a chemical imbalance in the brain. Medication may help relieve some of the symptoms of moderate and severe depression, but it doesn’t cure the underlying problem, and it’s usually not a long-term solution. Antidepressant medications also come with side effects and safety concerns, and withdrawal can be very difficult. If you’re considering whether antidepressant medication is right for you, learning all the facts can help you make an informed and personal decision about how best to treat your depression. If you are taking medication for depression, don’t ignore other treatments. Lifestyle changes and therapy not only help speed recovery from depression, but provide skills to help prevent a recurrence. Family doctors might be the first professionals to recognize your depression. However, while they can prescribe antidepressants, it’s a good idea to explore your options with other mental health professionals who specialize in depression. Ask for a referral. You might end up working with a therapist and not needing medication at all. If you do need medication, a psychiatrist has advanced training and experience in depression, treatments, and medications. If you’ve considered alternative treatments such as herbal remedies, vitamins or supplements for your depression, you are not alone. Many people with depression have considered them, and they are widely available over the counter. The jury is still out on how well these remedies work. While some vitamins and herbal supplements may be promising alternative treatments for depression, research is still ongoing. Their efficacy has not been scientifically proven. If your depression symptoms are in part due to some sort of nutritional deficiency, you may benefit from additional vitamin supplementation, but this should be on the advice of your healthcare professional. If you decide to try natural and herbal supplements, remember that they can have side effects and drug or food interactions. For example, St. John’s Wort—a promising herb used for treatment for mild to moderate depression—can interfere with prescription drugs such as blood thinners, birth control pills and prescription antidepressants. Make sure your doctor or therapist knows what you are taking. Other alternative depression treatments are:
Relaxation techniques: Although research is still ongoing, relaxation techniques may not only help relieve symptoms of depression, but also reduce stress and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation.
Acupuncture: Acupuncture, the technique of using fine needles on specific points on the body for therapeutic purposes, is increasingly being investigated as a treatment for depression, with some research studies showing promising results. If you decide to try acupuncture, make sure that you find a licensed qualified professional.
